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 A Ministry dedicated to preserving the truth and accuracy of the infallible Word of God. |
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| A Merry Heart Doeth Good | |
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Add a little humor to your day! Choosing Hymns One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the churchneeded some extra money. He asked the people to considerdonating a little more than usual and that whoever gave themost would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanceddown and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 billin one of the plates. He was so excited that he immediatelyshared his joy with his congregation. He said he'd like topersonally thank the person who placed the money in theplate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in theback shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to cometo the front. Slowly she made her way to the front. Thepastor told her how wonderful her gift was and in thanksasked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation,pointed to the three most handsome men in the buildingand said, I'll take him and him and him! Came from afar! Driving through a small Southern town I saw a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I decided to stop at a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town. I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She responded in annoyance, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply didn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'" Bad Boys
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved.
The parents were at the end of their wits as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past. She asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"
The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually.
The 8-year-old boy went first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"
At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in is closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" The younger brother replied, We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!!"
The Dog
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
The Thunderstorm
When a mother saw a thunderstorm forming in mid-afternoon, she worried about her seven-year-old daughter who would be walking the three blocks from school to home.
Deciding to meet her, the mother saw her walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed.
Seeing her mother, the little girl ran to her, explaining happily, "All the way home, God's been taking my picture!"
"Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein" Luke 18:17. More Funnies >> |
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